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Better Now It's amazing how much calmer I am now that I got everything out that was bothering me. That last entry was like one big huge therapy session. I'm still not sure what the outcome is going to be though. I'm pretty sure it's going to be a bunch of drama and I'm going to wish I'd never written it. I don't though. I'm glad that I wrote it. If I hadn't written it, I might have just exploded. Literally. Whatever happens, happens. I refuse to censor my feelings to shield others from pain any more. You have to accept me completely. I'm not as angry as I sound in the previous entry. I'm much, MUCH calmer now. Again, it was therapy. It was my version of punching something. So I'm sitting here killing time before I have to go back to work. It's going to be another night of hell, just like the night before last. I hate holidays. I'm on lunch, but I'm not hungry. My bid on that necklace is up to the $50 now. My max bid is $100. That's okay though. I should be getting my government check any time now, plus I get paid on the 19th. So I won't be broke like I thought I would be. I will be DAMNED if I don't get that necklace. I don't care if you think I'm crazy. I'm quite aware that I am. (If I was normal, I wouldn't be happy.) I'm not happy. I don't want to go back to work. I want to go back to bed. I slept for 10 hours last night. It wasn't enough. Whenever I get in a mood, I always end up listening to L'Arc~en~Ciel. Huh. Here's "Jiyuu e no Shoutai." Online Videos by Veoh.com |