Taion
2008-05-09, 11:07 p.m.

I've been really angry today. I mean, seriously pissed off, wanna punch something/one angry. Too many things happened today. Now I'm still sitting here seething.

My head hurts.

Everyone on this fucking planet can just go fuck themselves. (Well, everyone but Aoi, but we're not getting into what he can fuck.)

I feel so taken for granted.
I don't feel like I'm important to the people who are important to me.
Why does any of it matter?
(Because my head fucking hurts.)

I'm so fucking tired of being the odd man out. (Because that's exactly what I am.)

There's nowhere that I belong.
It's a distant dream.
(Wishing only makes it worse...)

I hate being hurt for no reason.
I hate it when the person doesn't even notice they've done it.
I hate myself for hating.
I don't want to hate.
It happens.
(I don't want to hate.)

I wish that I'd just quit getting my hopes up about things that are important to me. I should know by now that no one cares. No one considers my desires to be important. I'm just here. I'm just a fly on the wall. I'm just here for their FUCKING amusement.

The worst part is that I had a dream about this last night. I KNEW it was going to happen. Yet I still let myself hope...I really have to stop doing that...

I have to stop making suggestions.
I have to stop encouraging rebellious behavior.

I feel sick.
(My head fucking hurts!)

Why in the hell do I do this to myself??

Maybe I should go into hermit workaholic mode and not talk to anyone for a while.

Maybe I just need to be alone for a while.
I wonder if anyone will miss me...

I don't think I'll answer the phone.
I probably won't write letters either.
Besides, I have some things that I need to take care of.
My life is still in motion regardless of others opinions of me.

A wintry sky and the broken streetlight cold wind
Unknown shadow the footprint of desertion
Freedom was taken

If it wakes up a gloomy ceiling
A laughing voice sinks in the eardrum it is soiled
And violence rapes me

An understanding is impossible
Why was I chosen? Someone should answer...

Douka hidoi yume da to kotaete hoshii
Dore dake sakebi modae kurushimeba ii
Douka hidoi yume da to oshiete hoshii
Chigiresou na koe de nandomo sakenda

There is no head of preparing of the disordered hair
A laughing voice sinks in the eardrum
A faint temperature is mixed in the midwinter

Koe wo koroshite karesou na jibun ni iikikasete ita
Ikiru koto wo miushinawanu you
Koe wo koroshite furueta yoru wa itami ni oborete iku
Togiresou na iki wo yurushite...

Douka hidoi yume da to kotaete hoshii
Dore dake sakebi modae kurushimeba ii
Douka hidoi yume da to oshiete hoshii
Saigo ni mou ichido dake waratte mitai

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