Be VERY Careful what you SAY to me.
2008-05-11, 11:35 a.m.

Dear Mandy,

Why aren't you responding to my cries for help, when it's obvious that I'm trying to get your attention?

Just because I said I wasn't going to call or write letters, didn't mean that I was being serious. I was trying to get a reaction out of you, because I was getting nothing at all.

When I called you from work the other night, I was incredibly upset. INCREDIBLY. Before I talked to you. We were so busy that night that I just had to walk away for a minute. We were terribly understaffed and I kept getting yelled at by customers. I was on the verge of crying.

I called you seeking comfort. All I got was: We can't go to Frankenmuth with you this year even though it's an entire month away and we have no idea what's really going to be going on at that time. Oh, and we aren't going to tell you why no matter how many times you ask. Also, you wrote something wrong in the book, but I haven't really read it even though I've had it for 3 days. Have fun at work.

Now you aren't even bothering to contact me at all. Why am I always the one that has to come to the rescue? Yes, I can tell by the number of Linkin Park videos that you posted that you're upset. I just don't understand why you want me to shove down my feelings every time something like this happens so that I can pay attention to you. I deserve to have a shoulder to cry on too. I FUCKING deserve it. After everything that we've been through together, I thought you'd know how to handle this.

Yes, I feel left out. Yes, I feel like the odd man out. Ever since you and Matt got married I just don't feel like I belong anymore. It's like you have some secret underground society thing going on and I can actually sympathize with Josh.

I know exactly why he acts like he does. He just wants some fucking attention. So what if I'm jealous? It was bound to come out sooner or later. I've done a great job of hiding it for the past 6 months haven't I? I guess you're either going to have to find away to either deal with it, or fix it. However, if you continue to IGNORE me, we're going to have an incredibly serious problem.

On another note, it really DOES bother me when Matt won't leave me alone after I've asked him numerous times to. I'm not in the mood for it every single time I come over to your house. Sometimes I just want to keep to myself. I'm not quite as open as he seems to think that I am. Make him stop. It's annoying and I find it hard to enjoy myself.

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